writingpractice | for liveandforgive

for liveandforgive

[It was about 3am when Nike woke up from her sleep after having taken a shower, changed the bedsheets, and had a snack. She couldn't shake away the thoughts of the previous few hours she had experienced with Cloud. Her heart continue to race the more she remembered. Their promise to meet again to talk left her feeling even more restless.

Not in a bad way neither. It was in the more anxious way in wanting to desperately see him again. To talk with him, hang out with him, and simply being by his side kind of way. A feeling she's grown accustomed to in the last few months or so. She had gotten interested in getting to know him better after having a lot of fun talking and playing games with him. The last few hours, after having phone sex with him, she began to realize a lot about her feelings towards him.

That's the reason behind her next brilliant plan: sneak into his house and surprise him with a good breakfast to help him start the day with. She had it all planned out too -- by making him a traditional breakfast. It wouldn't be the first time they had eaten together neither. Sometimes she would find him at the library's monthly cooking class lessons which include eating their creations together. They've even traded their dishes too.

Too bad the plan didn't come as easily as she hoped for because after having successfully opening a random window Nike had grown a little tired. She had done some grocery shopping for ingredients beforehand which wasted a lot of her energy after having trouble deciding between salt or green onions, or even regular bacon vs turkey bacon vs sausages. The war on waffles vs pancakes was as fierce. But in the end of the day, or the beginning of one, she decided to keep it traditional and simple. Too bad she was too exhausted to do much more than put most of the ingredients away that needed to be in the cold while everything else was left in the bags. While Nike was sleeping soundly at the couch in his living room, after deciding to rest her eyes and then create his breakfast before he wakes up, but....her new sleep spot was too comfortable and warm to lay on. That's where she'll remain.

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[Cloud was still trying to wrap his head around the situation. he'd told her that he would come to her when he was ready to talk about what they'd done together. and yet here she was, surprising him with breakfast. at least, she'd meant to before passing out. a part of him was afraid of what he'd say in the heat of the moment, whether it was too fast or too slow...would he push her away from the fear of making a mistake in hurting her? would he embrace what he was feeling? all of these frets were putting Cloud on edge.

and yet every single time she looked at him with those calming green eyes of hers, that edge would be dulled every single time. until there was nothing left. when did Cloud start noticing that he'd acted differently around her? when did she make such a lasting impression on him? it was enough that whenever his thoughts drifted to her, the air around him felt warmer- more inviting. it was a far cry from the way the land would give beneath him due to his confusion and anger.

he'd found an anchor in Nike Lemercier. and as the days passed by into weeks and months, he'd begun to fear for the day if that chain that bound them ever broke...]

Ah.. [where did he start? he felt awkward, and yet she was working with such earnest that it was damn near contagious. he didn't want to invade her space least she had a flow going with breakfast. and yet he felt like he couldn't just stand there. he supposed that letting things go naturally was the best way really bring it all up. by this point, they eventually had to]

...

[not as lonely...? if she was lonely, she could have slipped into his room and-]

Need a hand?

[his voice was like a sharp blade, cutting that thought off early. too soon, he mused with a light blush]

[She was trying her best to concentrate on making breakfast. It was enough to keep her eyes or mind from wandering too far to the vision of the swordsman standing behind her. Everything needed to be perfect. Not as a way to bribe him nor convince him in choosing to stay with her. It was none of that. Her only wish was to help him not get lost in his thoughts nor believe he felt obligated to anything. She wanted to prove, and convince him, that no matter what happens, she'll always remain by his side. As a friend, a lover, or in-between, whatever it may be that he decides. She simply didn't want to lose him. Just the idea frightens her more than losing everything and finding herself in a world that was similar, but not her own.

Cloud is the reason she was at peace in being away from home. One of the many reasons she was safe and having a lot of fun with her new found freedom. It never has occur to her that she had the possibility of making actual choices. To decide on her future. She was originally forced to get married. To fall in love with whoever was going to be her chosen spouse in order to protect her family and country from losing their freedom. Force to learn about the world; force to change into the ideal first lady; force to be pampered for no apparent reason; force to entertain people of higher social statuses as a way to be accepted by them. She was expected to simply accept her fate without putting up a fight. Cloud, on the other hand, was the complete opposite to all of that. He gave her a choice; she made her decision -- she wanted to stay with him.

So when he asked her about needing help, she'll stop beating the eggs in order to turn towards him with a growing smile.]

Yeah. I can use one...

[Picking up the bacon.]

Can you get this ready? Maybe get the pans ready for the eggs and pancakes too? It'll be great to have everything already warm once it's ready.

Mm. [he'll nod when she passes him the bacon, not wasting much time to accept it. before he gets to the bacon, he'll let it rest on the counter while he bends down to pull out a couple sets of pans. for the eggs, they really wouldn't need a big pan, considering it was just the two of them. ...come to think of it, they wouldn't need much room for the bacon either. especially if he did what he had in mind for them. the stove flares to life on a low heat, the pans gradually getting hotter as he left them be. this whole time, he'd been rather quiet as he worked, taking a knife and slicing the package of bacon clean down the middle]

Ah, wait.

[it was spoken mostly to himself as he remembered that he should have probably washed his hands before touching the actual bacon. luckily he'd only been touching the plastic. letting the sliced bacon rest on the counter for now, he brushes against the back of Nike as he moves around the kitchen to get to the sink, letting the cool water run between his fingers]

... ... ...

Hey.

[he flings his fingers, not bothering to dry them as he knew he'd eventually be touching raw meat. pulling out half of the bacon he'd just cut, he started placing it into the hot frying pan before turning up the heat slightly]

We're not dreaming...right?

[Nike being here with him, the words they shared with one another last night, his doubts and the drive to defy the fear of loss...

his feelings for her]

[While he was taking care of the bacon, Nike will head to the fridge to get the half gallon of milk, salt, and pepper to add onto the bowl filled with eggs. She'll mix them together and whisk it a little longer until all of the ingredients seem to be well blended. Leaving the mixed bowl of eggs, she'll return to the fridge to get out the pieces of ham, green onions, cheese, and mushrooms. Her attention will soon turn to Cloud as she wonders if he was done using the sink to wash his hands with. That's when she feels for a split second something, or rather, someone touching her back. It was enough to catch her off guard. After all, the kitchen couldn't be so small nor was she so wide to occupy an entire room neither.]

...if that's the case, then...

[Her face will begin to turn into pure terror as she realizes that the image of the one she was trying to avoid and practicing with all at once was no other than...]

Y-Yes!!

[Once his voice began to ask for her attention, she'll stand up straight as she begins to shake, feeling her heart beat pounding so obnoxiously loud that she was afraid he was going to hear it. What was he going to say? Was he okay with her being here? Did it bother him? Turn him off? Nike wanted to surprise him so badly. How could she have just...?

"We're not dreaming....right?"

That question was enough to interrupt her thoughts as she couldn't believe his question. Did he...think it was? A good or bad one? It was hard to tell. No, maybe it wasn't. Turning towards him with a beat-red face, Nike will look at him while feeling a little nervous, but after finding he was cooking the bacon as she asked him to. Watching him take her request so seriously, she couldn't help feel...happy about it. She was cooking with him, wasn't she? They were making breakfast together, weren't they? Alone, without anyone else seeing them. It was almost as thought...they were in their own world, just the two of them together. With a warm smile growing, Nike will head to the sink to wash her own hands for a bit while putting the ingredients she got out onto the counter.

A hand will begin to reach towards his cheek as she lightly pokes his face.]

...I don't know... [A beat as she opens her hand enough to brush his skin lightly with her finger.] ...I hope not, but... [With a grin.] We'll just have to find out, won't we?

[With that said, the other hand will reach for his other cheek, cupping them both, leaning a little closer to him until....

Her fingers will gain a piece of his cheeks as she begins to stretch the loose skin a bit.]

Can you feel anything?

[while he waited for an answer, his attention turned away from the bacon as he fully realized the weight of his question. if this was real, talking to the young princess was going to happen a lot sooner than he thought he would. even if it was going to be today, the fact that he'd woken up to the sight of her...

"...I don't know..."

Cloud's face scrunches up a little when she lightly poked his face, leaning back slightly as he looked down at her through one eye. and yet, he didn't say anything yet, least he broke off her train of thought. ...or rather, he would have if it wasn't for her hand opening to run along his skin. his face lit up exponentially so, eyes wide as his body suddenly felt tingly]

I-I...uh...

[why did she have to smile at him like that? to be truthful, this hadn't been the first time they'd been this close (their escapades over the phone last night not withstanding). he could remember the night they'd sat atop a hill together during a festival, fireworks lighting up the sky. he didn't know what it was, but it felt like everything stopped when her brilliant green eyes matched his gaze. there was no blushing, no racing of the heart... it was just her- just him as the two leaned in closer to one another before a loud bang of a firework interrupted them. ever since then...]

Nike...?

[his face reddened a little as he wasn't sure what to make of this sudden turn of events. suddenly breakfast didn't sound as important as the woman standing before him, his body feeling heavier and pleasantly warm as he realized he was melting into her touch, if only briefly...

then she started leaning closer to him. this was bad- it was too soon. he didn't even get a chance to say-]

-awha...?

[pinchy pinchy]

Yea but... [stretchy stretchy] Whaddya doin'?

[it didn't really HURT persay, just... what?]

[It was hard not to allow a tiny grin go past her as she watching his reaction in her antics. People have made comments over pinching themselves will help determine if they were awake or not. She figure it would be best to follow the advice except in a different sense. One that she and he would understand. He asked the question over it being a dream after she had realized the certainty of their situation in having prepare breakfast together. The one that needed to determine it was him. Getting to touch and prod his cheeks was an excuse to be closer to him without startling him. She still remember the night at the hill during the end of the summer festival.]

Checking if we're awake? What else would I be doing?

[Stretching his cheeks like this might be one of the rare occasions in having an excuse to touch him. Ever since that time during the fireworks display, she was feeling a little anxious around him. Always being absentminded during important tasks to think about the meaning behind it. The way they were sitting next to each other, almost too close with his arm snuggled around her waist, the glow of the full moon giving them better visibility of their eyes, of their clothes in which Nike was wearing a traditional yukata for the occasion, if it was to have his attention was difficult to say. She didn't fully understand the emotion they share in that evening was. For a long time she may have been avoiding it as a way to protect their friendship. She didn't want to lose him in any way.

Releasing her hold on his cheeks, she'll notice the skin changing to a light red tint which will have her feeling a form of concern for. Cloud's skin was so light up close. His skin felt warm, soft, and malleable. She had never notice those extra details until now. Details that made her remember the conversation they had last night -- what other details did she miss when he wasn't physically with her? Her gaze will soften as she thought of it while a finger will lightly brush over the sensitive skin on his cheek.]

...hey, can I answer your earlier question again? About this being a dream?

[Before she gave him a chance to respond, she'll simply say.]

We aren't. This isn't a dream. Of us preparing breakfast together. At your house. [A beat.] Together.

Well U'm wiide awake. Cud it out.

[it was a very weak protest if anything, one in which he didn't even raise his hands up to try and pry her off for it. he felt embarrassed, but above all else, it was more of him becoming increasingly shy as the reality of the situation settled in. he wasn't sure if Nike truly understood yet. that had been the first time that he could truly remember actually letting himself go like that, affectionately speaking. not even with...]

Together...

[for all of his progress in life, Cloud had struggled with the thought of actually deserving to be happy with someone on a physical level. his hands were so dirty, a new shiny coat of hope covering up the despair and doubt he fought day in and day out to prevent from taking him. it was something Cloud would likely have to deal with for the rest of his life. one didn't forget what happened to him and his loved ones so easily, after all. and yet...every time he was with Nike, be it seeing it in her smile, the way she'd light up a room even when there was no sun to speak of, it made him wonder at night. on those lone nights when he'd reach his hand out for the stars, thinking if home was still out there, wandering deeper into his feelings...

what if it was okay? what if it was okay to notice the way she moved in that yukata, to the way she'd hold his hand, to the way she'd call his name and--]

I just...didn't expect to talk about...this so soon.

[if he didn't say it now, he never would. and it'd have been that much more awkward between them. and yet, despite his choice of words, he didn't turn away or step back from her either. which was why before he could give Nike her own chance to respond, he offered a little yet meaningful smile]

Doubt I could've waited anyway.

[if it wasn't this morning? it was going to be today. he wasn't going to leave her waiting for long; it was just a matter of putting something together to make better sense of what he was feeling.

maybe this was for the best. she'd get what was right from the heart. something that was truly Cloud]

I'm glad I'm not dreaming.

[he should get back to the bacon]

[Surprise and some guilt will be seen as he expresses his feelings over the matter. In wanting to talk about last night. She'll unconsciously bite her bottom lip as she wasn't allowed to get a word in on the matter. To be far, as much as she wanted to hear his response, she didn't want to neither. All she wanted was to see him; to leave him food since it was the only way she could express her affections for someone without having to express it in words. It was a more no strings attached idea, but now it had some. She was scared in hearing his response. Was he going to ask her to leave? Reject her gently? Flat out? So many ideas were going through her mind until she heard

"I'm glad I'm not dreaming"

It was all it took for the voices in her head to grow silent. For the tears that were threatening to spill out to sting less. Her heart was beating once more when that meaningful smile was seen. A silent exhale will escape upon realizing that there may be hope. One where...it wasn't one-sided. For once, she was able to feel happy at the idea of having a chance to choose. Make her own decision on matters concerning the heart. It was strange to have lived so long without having any interest in this particular subject until now. How does she respond without revealing that she was so close to crying? Easy. Wiping her eyes with her fingers and begin to laugh weakly, out of nerves and giddiness but as a way to mask her earlier emotions.]

...yeah...me too...

[Reaching for his face once more, she'll squish his cheeks for a bit as a penalty for almost giving her a mini-heart attack.]

We should...properly finish preparing breakfast...before I faint from starvation.

[On cue her stomach may or may not be rumbling, feeling indignant over lack of a meal. A pause as she releases her hold on him to kiss the tip of her fingers before lightly touching his own afterwards. Her cheeks will begin to glow warm at the simple gesture.]

Rain check on...any further discussions until we're done eating? [Locking her gaze with his, she'll admit.] ...even though the plan was only to make breakfast, not be seen by you until later, I'm glad that I overslept. I wanted to see you.

[he looked down to Nike with widened eyes as he could see the flickering expression on Nike's face. crap...he said something he shouldn't have, didn't he? there was only a six year gap between them, and yet Cloud felt like he was no older than she was. at least, when it came to anything remotely linked to romance. but it seemed as though he'd made the right decision to be brave for both their sakes.

before he could so much as get a chance to reach out and wipe away any signs of tears, she'd laughed it off for him]

Ayy...

[when she let go of him, he couldn't help but feel something akin to awe when he looked at her. from the way she carried herself, the way she kissed her fingers before gently touching over his, to the way her cheeks glowed. no doubt he felt the same way... as their eyes met, her words resonated through his very being, filling him with a warmth he didn't realize he still had ~~or deserved.~~]

Mm. Rain check.

[did he deserve any of this? if he was ever having any doubts, judging by the way he'd already opened his heart to her regardless, it would likely be up to the princess before him to show him the way. to show him that it was okay]

--

[everything came out smoothly enough despite being seemingly distracted by one another as they finished cooking up breakfast. he didn't have bacon often, so it was hard to find a way to dispose of the grease, but he supposed he could just scrub and wash it later, dumping what was left outside. the last thing he needed to do was clog up his own sink. ...come to think of it, Cloud could just take the grease and put it in the garbage when it cooled off from cooking. why was he thinking about the food so damn much? one step at a time, Cloud...]

I'll hafta find a way to get you back for breakfast, [he said as he cut his egg down the middle, letting the yolk break as he dipped his toast into it]

[Once the silent truce was set to keep all further discussion for after breakfast, Nike gingerly guided Cloud back to the kitchen to prepare the last of their meal together. Which was a very difficult task to accomplish from the sheer fact she would find ways to get in contact with him throughout the preparation -- be it by lingering touches or stares.

Breakfast would've been completed much earlier, but Nike had no regrets over taking her time getting everything done. The warm and comfortable atmosphere created from their interactions alone made their surroundings feel much more like their own personal world. The closeness, the earnesty to do their best at cooking, and bouncing off ideas was worth it.

Nike can confidently admit over their 6 year age gap feeling less further away in the process. Cloud felt very close to her as they were in the same page. A small smile will appear as she enjoy her crispy bacon being bathe by the warm egg yolk that was filling her plate in yellow. There will be a thoughtful hum when a spoonful was currently in her mouth.]

You don't have to. I had a lot of fun preparing it with you. [She'd wake up early every morning just to make him breakfast if she could relive this day all over again.] But, if you do want to make it up to me regardless, there would be something I'd like to see.

[just as Cloud was finishing the last bite of his toast (there was still some bacon and egg left), he took a glass of water to wash it down. his gaze flickered back to Nike across the small table from him, sapphire-like blues watching her as she asked something of him. it was a genuine curiosity from the young swordsman as he swallowed]

Something you'd like to see? [blink] Like what? [he digs his fork into the side of his bacon, taking a piece of it]

[A thoughtful look will be given as she continues to enjoy her breakfast. It serve like a good way to stall for time. How do you ask a guy to do what she had in mind?]

Well...we'll have to take your motorcycle to get there.

[Hint 1 and 2: It was a place they can reach.]

And we'll need some money too.

[Hint 3: It can be bought. Just as she was going to continue giving hints, a small blush may be seen as she shakes her head a bit at the idea.]

Ah, on second thought, maybe, we shouldn't. It's totally fine! I'm just happy eating and cooking with you. [A rueful smile.] ...it may be a bad idea all around. Too early to act like a naughty kid, right?

Fenrir?

[he'd been extremely fortunate to have gotten his motorcycle back, albeit modified as it was from the original back home. but admittedly, he wasn't following her. when she dropped the third hint, he'd slowly started chewing on his bacon.

...did he forget to swallow it? he most certainly did. now he raised a brow at her without saying a word as he listened to her ramble off her idea to him. before he could continue on and give her a lingering question though, she'd cut herself off]

... ... ...

[now he's staring at her. she couldn't just leave him hanging like that. he was curious now as his gaze narrowed on her]

[Oh no, was he staring at her a little too much? He was really paying attention to her, huh? Like very intensely?

Her own attention will be on him. Silently, returning her own gaze back at him believing if she looks innocently enough he may stop. Maybe, even, his show of light defiance may get him to break contact first. She'll summon all of her womanly appeal to get him to stop. That was the plan until she found her own willpower beginning to crumble by his gaze every second she was watching him. Those sky-blue eyes were definitely powerful set of weapons, even when they're narrowed and staring right at her, almost like it could see her very being.

She'll begin to nervously toy with her hair, gaze turning to her breakfast, trying to get another spoonful into her mouth until she stops midway with her attention returning to him. Somehow, the idea of eating in front of him made her feel warm all over as she was reminded of last night -- about ice cream.

Returning her fork back down onto her plate, head facing down, hand covering her eyes, cheeks revealing her weakened willpower, she'll give a slight pout over it. Should she tell him? Could she?

There was a lot of debating over it. Considerations. Pie-charts. Some pros and cons, but whenever she turned her attwntion to his eyes -- she lost more and more of her HP and MP!

It was so close to zero now.]

....do you really want to know about it? About my naughty idea?

[Cloud's gaze was about as intense as it could get without looking like he was about to start a fight. swallowing the bacon he had in his mouth, his sapphire-like blues were focused solely on her. this woman called him up about ice cream and popsicles, had him open up his own heart to a whole new world that he didn't realize he was worthy of, expose himself to her in the most intimate way, as well as show up at his home while he was sleeping until they started making breakfast together... it was all going by so fast, and now she's back pedalling?

for some reason, it'd become so intense that if she laughed, for some reason he'd break down and do the same thing. Cloud could tell he was winning though; he actually had no idea what Nike was getting at, which was why he was so intent on getting an answer out of her. was he that dense? or was her idea so out of left field? even he didn't know which way it was supposed to go.

just staring at her wasn't enough however, so when she asked him if he really wanted to know, Cloud took a moment to reply...]

If that's your way of trying to scare me, [with an elbow on the table, he rests his chin in his hand as his soft spikes of blond sway slightly to the side as his gaze keeps to her] You'll hafta try harder.

[s-so cool...!]

[It was difficult to both look at and away from Cloud for long. Not when she can feel he was burning a hole through her at this point. The intensity of his stare made her both uncomfortable while exciting her too. She couldn't decide if she liked or disliked being put on the spot the way she was.

Her attention will return to him as he began to speak, over if she was attempting to scare him off. When her green eyes were on him, on the Cloud that was leaning on the table with his chin on his hand, her heart began to beat very loudly and with all of its strength against her chest. He really did look cool! It was difficult to not find him extremely attractive right now. Very manly. Very....determine and forward in wanting to hear her out. The urge to pull him into a kiss from across the table was very strong. But instead of doing that, Nike will simply look at him as she felt her throat grow dry. Her mouth will open. It'll do that for a couple of times until she closes her eyes and looks down.

There was no choice. She had to tell him her idea. At this point, it was silly that she was holding back, but she didn't want him to think she was weird. Her request may sound weird and very forward. There was a reason she consider it a naughty request.

Taking a deep breath, Nike will try to reach out for his free hand to hold onto as she admits.]

...apron....I want to see you wearing one....

[Another beat. Licking her lips a bit as she yells at with all of her might.]

I want to see you wearing one of those silly "kiss the cook" aprons whenever we cook together!

[All said as thought she was asking for too much. It really felt like too much. She's heard those aprons were very uncool to wear. That only dads wear that in attempts to be funny, but Nike liked them. Even felt many of them were funny and an excuse to get a free hug or actual kiss. She wanted to see Cloud in one to have that excuse to surprise him too.]

[if she was uncomfortable right now, that was the point- granted Cloud was getting wrapped up in this 'game' without quite realizing what the payoff (or lack thereof) was going to be. he was whole-heartedly prepared to let Nike take the blame for this one. not that it meant that it'd be a bad thing of her to do so, nor would he think less of her either. after everything they'd gone through together, and this escalation of emotions between the two of them, letting her thoughts that pertained to him go wasn't something he was willing to let pass. normally he would have let it go.

and yet...

this was so unlike Cloud. so unlike him to chase after something like this... something so simple. something he could look forward to for all the right reasons. he'd spent so much time in the past chasing someone that did nothing but complicate his life and take so much from him. if being on the receiving end of a princess' fantasies was his alternative?

regardless of the outcome, he'd gladly keep chasing her and the answer that lied at the end of the road]

...hah?

["I want to see you wearing one of those silly "kiss the cook" aprons whenever we cook together!"]

A "kiss the cook" apron?

[he was definitely taken aback. his face was already turning a light shade of red, but his brain had to reboot a couple of times to catch up with his words]

Why does it hafta say...?

[a beat]

...oh.

[Cloud was typically really good about maintaining his emotions, but he wasn't quite that naïve either. which is why this may have been the most red Nike had ever seen him as he just blinked at her in realization. it really was a silly idea, but the weight of their 'relationship' and wherever it lead them was starting to be felt. the air felt heavier, but not in a burdensome way. like despite how...out there her idea was, it was striking home the point of what they did, what they felt...

and what was Cloud's response?]

I don't...have one.

[She'll give Cloud a couple of moments to process her request. The silly and naughty one. The one that was proving her inexperience in these type of situations. While all at once, she was giving herself some time to recover from the flush that invaded and had no intention of leaving, especially once her gaze will rise to an equally bashful Cloud.

He looked so very red. Maybe even rivalling her own face which was both comforting, but made her feel even warmer as she tried to picture the reason his cheeks were red. He could be embarrassed at the idea, itself, finding her so very lame, or maybe the idea of them kissing was embarrassing to him, or maybe expecting a kiss while wearing it made him uneasy, or...or...

She could go on, but his response to her request will catch her attention.

"I don't...have one."

Nike will lower her head as she says in a low tone.]

...y-yeah...I kinda...noticed...

[A beat as her voice begins to rise.]

...do you think...can we...get one, maybe?

[An inquisitive gaze will turn to the swordsman in front of her, not taking her sights off him, almost matching the intensity of the way he stared at her before. She was so very interested to learn of his response over it. Over if maybe it wasn't crossing any lines to want that. To want to kiss and cook with him like this.]

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